Soul to Sole part IV: Same zip code, but worlds apart

Do you remember playing this game as a child? It involves sitting around in a group of kids and telling the person next to you what you heard, usually in a form of a short story. And as the message returns to you, it's accuracy and fidelity slowly but surely becomes lost. The word Donkey suddenly comes back as Monkey, the dog jumps over the moon suddenly becomes the dog and cat got into a fight, and etc. You get the point, the story morphs into a whole another story on it's own as it makes its way around the group, exposing the fallibility of communication.

This vignette points to the two basic components of communication, the Transmission (you saying something), and the Reception (you listening to something). So, how is it that there is "story morphing" going on in the multiple act of Transmission/ Reception performed in a circle? The answer is whatever connects the Reception and Transmission aspects of our mind is very complex, but in simple terms, the Reception and Transmission are seldom in lock step with each other, often muddied by our Cognitive perception of life put in place by our past and the ensuing messages we internalized from them. But let's stay light here and simply accept the Reception and Transmission may appear to be in bed with each other, but they most likely fantasizing about different people. They have the appearance of being united by geography (happening within your head), but they hide the often lack of fidelity to each other.

In many ways, the Lead and Following in Salsa dancing is parallel to the Transmission and Reception in communication. As the Leader leads, he is transmitting his intentions to the dance so that there is the Intent made available to the Follower. The Follower takes the lead, a form of Reception. Where the Follower embellishes the lead with artful hand movements, etc., is a being true to the dance. Where the Follower simply uses the lead as nothing more than an open license to bring out the freak in her on the dance floor is not being true to the dance. And in this case, the Leader gives Donkey, but what shows up is Monkey in return. Thus, the dance has the appearance of being united by geography (happening in the same zip code), but they lack fidelity (two different worlds).

So, when I came across an anonymous posting on this website claiming it's the man's responsibility for mishaps on the dance floor (simply because his eyes can better see the oncoming accident and that he is in control) I find this statement rather incomplete and lacking discernment. It lacks these qualities in that the Reception can be so awry from the Transmission that the accident is nothing more than a simple product of exercising this open license that is not true to the dance.  How can the steerer be in control when the wheels on a car (follower) are so unstable that they are about to fall off at the first turn, skidding into the wall?

Yes, there is horrible leading, but lest don't forget- something a broad statement 'Man is responsible' avoids pointing to-, there is also horrible following. Until we allow ourselves to be conducted by the musical impulses in music, until we are fully present to the ensuing musical moments in us than mental route, until we don't pass off falling wheels as 'look at me with my dancing pro steps', until we unite with our partners in the high fidelity of Transmission/ Reception in an apt hand hold technique; all the fault finding embodied in 'Man is responsible' averts looking at the true diagnosis. And flagging  this banner of misdiagnosis angrily as if it’s a true absolute simply drives us further from the missing honesty in an honest dance that is only possible when we are honest with each other.

But that can only start when we are honest with ourselves.  And it is from here we can see the missing honesty in the blanket use of ‘Man is responsible’ comes when it is used to simply cover up one’s foisting off of one’s personal contribution to the mishap.

The good news is even though accidents do happen, most people go about it with great civility to each other. But I experienced a grotesque form of it that points to how a person, transfixed by the blanket use of ‘Man is responsible’, can be to the point of unfeeling. I had a personal incident in which I had danced with a partner whom I had previously said 'Wow, you do work out’ in previous dances; hoping that this hint that she is strong-arming her turns with high elbow would sink in. It's nothing more than 'Mind dancing', in which a lead has been reduced to simply an open license to dance out a pre-written mental script, high elbows and all. Sure enough, her high elbow lands onto a petite girl’s head, WWF style. The blow was so hard that I could feel the jarring effect transmit down my arm- making any feeling sentient feel a sudden but unmistakable shudder of empathy. Accidents do happen, but what followed amazed me in that she pretended nothing happened, even while this injured person was clearly leaving the dance floor in great pain. I turned to my partner and asked if she was going to at least apologize for the accident, to which she retorted, 'It's not my fault, you are the man'.

I then simply said 'Not all the time', turned around, and went looking for this ailing person to apologize and comfort. But just before I did so, I could read from my dance partner's sudden reactive body language to what I said that suggested she wanted to challenge me on my disbelief in her blanket use of  'Man is responsible', as if her position suddenly needed repair.   

However, as mentioned in the previous Soul to Sole article ‘Out of the Shadows of Babel’, we can only serve the dance when we get ourselves out of the way. We can then allow the more honest qualities in the music and the dance to take over, and not the self seeking impulses that comes from self glorification. And that is how we can be in one zip code AND one world with our music, our dance, and with our dance partners. 

Ad infinitum, when we become true to the essence of Salsa, we also become one with the same essence imbued in our world. We are then truly in a place to create, whether in dance or in our sense of well being. Simply said, where we are in Salsa simply manifest where we are in life.

Wow, the power people give each other to the point they no longer feel each other’s pain. Perhaps when we stop feeling the music and the dance, we also stop feeling our humanity.